Can You Tell Me How A Perfect Love Goes Wrong?
by nayaelisesarfati
Summary: AU F/R: Where Rachel is the female lead of Finn's production. It's been two years since they had both been in each other's lives. The question is, did those two years change things for good?


i.

She really despises her director.

For one, she has to address him by his last name even if they're of the same age. Two, he constantly picks on her at each of their rehearsals. Three, he hates her dance. And four..

Well, how can you describe what you feel when your boss is the same man you left hanging two years ago?

ii.

She might have had a clear perception of her future in Broadway and everything else but not with love. Fact of the matter was, she didn't expect someone to love an uptight, ambitious, overbearing girl like her. Until Finn came into the picture.

She was majoring in Musical Theatre, while he was still figuring things out as a non-major. She met him when he first attended her dance class one Tuesday afternoon her sophomore year. Judging simply by his built and his height Rachel assumed he must have had decent moves. But when her teacher asked him to do freestyle her classmates instantly burst into a fit of laughter. She did too but not for the obvious reason that he, well, sucked. She just found him adorable and cute, and was impressed that he had the guts to enroll in a class spearheaded by such a terror teacher, even if it wasn't included in his curriculum at all.

Rachel grew closer with Finn when Cassie partnered them up for tango. Acing dance was a piece of hard work for both sides, much more for her. She couldn't exactly place why her teacher hated her, but apparently Cassandra July did. As for Finn, Cassie was a lot more..fonder towards him than any other students, plus she had taken him under her wing basically since he stepped foot in her studio. They worked with their advantages. Dancing wasn't Rachel's forte per se, but she had ample knowledge on it so she helped Finn with the basics. In return, Finn was like her anchor, in a good way. When she felt like she was about to burst in front of her teacher, he helped ease her impulses, saying how she was better than that and to just let their performance prove for itself.

They were practically inseparable since then, except for when they had classes. Finn and Rachel learned how different they were from each other, but how they also complimented one another in so many ways. The more time she spent with him in and outside of class, the more she realized how he had become an essential part of her life in a short period of time.

But that was just the prologue of the story. It was in Valentine's Day of their junior year when she knew; he was the only one for her.

_"Finn! Where are we going?" she asked, chuckling at how he looked so excited since he picked her up from her last class. They had agreed to celebrate Valentine's — scratch that, Single Awareness Day together because, well, they were the only ones among their group of friends who had no plans for that night._

_"For the hundredth time, Rach, it's a surprise." His voice feigned annoyance, but Rachel wasn't anything but persistent._

_"Oh come on. Can't you give me one clue?"_

_"You'll like it," Finn said simply._

_"Like it?"_

_"Yeah," he nodded. There was a huff of confidence in him that she sensed. "In fact, you'll love it."_

_Rachel gave up, groaning in frustration. Clearly Finn was firm on staying mum about his surprise for her. "Fine. But if there's flowers, chocolates, or a even fancy dinner date involved this friendship is so over, Hudson." He laughed heartily at that, causing her to roll her eyes at him. "Remember that we're celebrating S.A.D., not Valentine's."_

_Finn smugly replied, "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, Berry, but you're certainly not my type."_

_She knew he was only joking, but she was certain there was a slight pang in her chest when she heard that. Rachel just shook it off, thinking that it must've meant nothing._

_—_

_They reached the center of Times Square; her most favourite place in the city. She had always admired the bright lights flashing everywhere she looked. It was actually one of the things that enchanted her to New York. "This.." she started as her eyes darted around, then back at Finn, "..this is your surprise?"_

_Finn shook his head, smiling that crooked grin she adored. "No. Look around."_

_She intriguingly raised her eyebrows at what he could possibly be referring to, but did so anyway. The next thing she saw made her feel like she was about to burst into a million stars._

_Everywhere she looked, every electronic billboard she saw, it all said one thing and one thing only:_

_"I love you, Rachel Barbra Berry."_

_Seeing those made her feel like she's on cloud nine, but hearing Finn say it straight to her.. She had no other words to describe it than heaven._

_He intertwined their fingers together as he stepped closer to her, his eyes fixated on her own. "You deserve so much more than chocolates or flowers or even a dinner at Sardi's. You deserve this; your name in lights."_

_Their surroundings were as noisy as it should be. However, it wasn't as loud as the sound of her drumming heart. "Soon enough people will know your name," Finn continued, "People will discover how amazing you are, how much brighter your star is than anyone of us here in the world. They will admire you, adore you, love you. But Rach, I want you to know.. I want to be that person — the first and the only person who will support you, cherish you, love you for everything that you are, not just the Rachel Berry that the others will get to see onstage someday."_

_She was full on crying at that moment. She didn't care if there was a growing crowd watching them at the very center of the brightest city in the world. What mattered to her was the look of sincerity and pure, irrevocable love in the eyes of the man in front of her._

_"If I could I would ask you to marry me now," he chuckled. "Because even if we haven't known each other that long, to me it felt like you've been there my entire life. And I know in my heart that you would still be there for the next part of forever. So if you would let me, I would be honored to show you how much you mean the world to me." And if that wasn't enough to render Rachel both breathless and speechless, Finn dropped on one knee, pulled a small red velvet box from his jean pocket, and revealed a small pink diamond ring to her._

_"Rachel Berry, will you be mine? Forever?"_

_"Yes," she answered, her voice breaking a little at the emotions flooding her. Finn slipped the ring in her finger before she pulled him up and in for their first kiss. It was sweet, the feel of his soft lips unto hers was simply indescribable. They were a perfect fit. They were perfect._

_She reluctantly pulled away for a second and asked him the silliest question to have ever interrupted such a magical moment. "How did you manage to do this?"_

_Finn lovingly stroked her cheek, smirking, "I'll do anything for the woman I love." It didn't exactly answer her question, but it was more than acceptable nonetheless._

_"Just so you know," she grinned, "I love you too, Finn Hudson."_

_He didn't utter a word in response to that. Instead, he attaches his lips again on hers for a more passionate and heartfelt kiss number two._

Apparently love wasn't enough to go the distance. Finn eventually found himself immersed into the world of dance through Cassie. It might just be temporary, but at least he had found something he enjoyed doing. Rachel, meanwhile, kept her focus on balancing school and her relationship with him. Yet as it progressed it got more difficult for the both of them. The only time things became a little more normal again was when Finn told her he wanted to take up her major, too. That made her happy; that made him complete. Then Cassie entered further into the picture and things went downhill. She gave Finn so many opportunities to start his career. She introduced him to her friends and colleagues in the industry and trained him to reach his fullest potential. And what did Rachel do for him? She gave him her love, her support. She gave Finn herself. But really, how much did those weigh compared to Cassie's?

What brought them together, ended up being the same thing that tore them apart.

Rachel feared of what that would entail them. Call her a coward, she'd take that any day rather than see their relationship run its course.

Their dreams were bigger than the both of them. More specifically, his dream was bigger than her.

iii.

Two years later and she is slowly starting to realize the gravity of what she had done. Selfish wouldn't even cover a third of it.

"Rachel, how many times do I have to tell you?" He exasperates, "Trust your male lead!"

Contrary to Finn — Mr. Hudson's belief, she does have complete trust on Blaine. They have been friends since childhood and have fortunately been starred together as the leads in this new and fresh off-Broadway production. If it wasn't for the very provocative — for her taste, that is — theme it definitely would've made it mainstream. She needed as much experience as she could get, anyway. She needed the rave their play would surely get for a career boost.

Little did she know who her director would be, or how much of a different person he is now.

"Rachel!" He snaps his fingers at her face as she unwillingly stops herself from tuning him out. "Miss Berry, are you even listening to me?"

With an internal sigh she nonchalantly replies, "Of course, Mr. Hudson."

"Would you mind reiterating every word?"

And so she does, flatly; "You need to soften your body a little more, let Blaine take the lead, get lost in the music. The audience would easily sense the uneasiness and the total lack of chemistry between you two if this doesn't get any better by opening night."

Her eyes fixate on the towering man as she finishes, returning his pointed gaze with an even more pointed one. Rachel understands that the routine is essential to the story. But for him to critique her like she has never done anything right? That is just plain unacceptable for her, and also borderline unprofessional. As far as she can remember, she hasn't done anything personally offensive for him to be such an ass. Her leaving him isn't even part of that equation.

Finn's the first to break the the thick air of tension, though he doesn't tear his gaze away from her. "Everybody take five," he commands while Rachel heaves a silent sigh of relief. "Except for you, Miss Berry."

She wonders if she's entitled to at least one diva storm-off from Finn Hudson.

"I'm going to be flat out honest here, Rachel. You're not going to perfect the dance by opening night." He tells her as soon as the rest of the people has cleared out of the stage.

"Excuse me?"

He turns his back on Rachel, walking back to his table behind the curtains. "It's bad. No, actually it's worse."

"And what do you know, Mr. Hudson?" she retorts in a mocking voice. "The last time I checked you couldn't even do a jazz square to save your life!" She is already feeling physically exhausted from rehearsing all day. The last thing she needs is Finn showing her no signs of empathy at all.

Rachel hears him groan before he quickly makes his way to where she stands. Standing merely an inch apart from her, Finn roughly pulls her close to his body, his one hand stopping right above her curve while the other intertwining with her fingers. "Uninvited in B, Ellis." He calls to the pianist in the orchestra. "Now close your eyes."

For a minute there she could see how his chocolate orbs soften as he speaks the words. Nevertheless, she's still confused as to what he means by it. "I-I'm sorry?"

"Just close your eyes," his voice now gentler as she does so. Her body tenses up when she feels him move flush against her, Finn leaning his forehead on hers. "Relax," his hot breath whispers so close to her lips, "And trust me. I'm here, I'm not letting you go."

For whatever reason, she believes in him. Well she always does, sometimes even more than she believes in herself. As the song enters the first stanza Rachel lets Finn lead her through the dance. She can feel themselves moving in perfect rhythm not only with the music but with each other. It only gets better when he begins to sing. The way his voice speaks to her, it's as if he's breaking the barriers between them. Rachel has never felt such a strong pull towards a person before Finn. She partly thinks she might be possessed for even thinking that the man she loved (loves) is still there, that he didn't actually become as heartless as he appears to be at present.

She slowly opens her eyes as he continues to sing softly in her ear, their cheeks touching each other's, "You speak of my love like, you have experienced love like mine before." They reach the part where he has to walk away from her and Rachel instantly misses Finn's warmth at that moment. "But you," she hears the melodious voice behind her, "..you're not allowed. You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight."

Halfway through the music Finn continued to effortlessly move him and Rachel in each sway, turn, and travel, every step becoming more and more sensual by the note. In the play, the dance would be her character and Blaine's proclamation of love. It is the moment where the sparks will finally ignite into flames. Even if the song runs somewhere along the lines of 'I don't want you in my life anymore', the dance speaks of the complete opposite. According to the man opposite her at the moment; it will show the thirst, the passion, the love that cannot be held back by the two characters, a pull stronger than gravity itself.

If those are the reasons why her heart has been beating frantically then there's no doubt; that's thirst and passion she's feeling.

She's still trying to deny the last part.

Finn proves for the last time how much better of a dancer he has been when he pulls her flush to him, dipping her down for the finish without any misstep. He keeps her secure and balanced in his arms, the tip of their noses barely touch as their chest heave in sync with each other. If it's even possible, their hearts seem to beat the same as well.

"I told you to trust me." He whispers, slightly panting before he brings her back up.

He swiftly lets her go then. "I did!" Rachel yells back. If she's being honest with herself, that was the first time she did lose herself in the dance!

"No, Rach. You didn't."

He starts walking away from her, but she catches his arm and forces him to face her. "Really, Finn? Is it just that?" she questions, "Or do I still remind you of the past?" Seems like their working relationship has never been professional all along.

"Rachel, please. This is not the place for that kind of discussion."

"Then what is it then?"

A moment of silence passes by them. Finn keeps his lips tight and straight. "I knew it," Rachel scoffs in frustration.

"You know nothing." He points, his voice low and husky. "Prepare a contemporary routine by Friday morning, Miss Berry." Rachel was about to speak but figures anything that comes out of her mouth would just complicate matters. "You're dismissed for today."

She stands frozen in place while she watches Finn dissolve into the darkness of the backstage. What did two years do to Finn Hudson?

iv.

No matter how hard she tries, Rachel couldn't formulate a perfect routine to please Finn— Mr. Hudson. She could've asked Mike, their choreographer, to help her make one. Yet, whatever she will present to Finn, she knows it wouldn't be enough.

It's three hours past Friday midnight when she hears the thud of his leather shoes enter the theatre's dance studio. He's about to switch the lights off when he notices her tiny frame sitting at one corner. "I see you've taken this assignment so seriously, Miss Berry." He leans on the door frame, looking all formal and that part alone makes her want to just walk away from him.

"I'm not dancing," she flatly replies.

Somehow, she is grateful that she can only see Finn's expression through the full mirror. At least that way, the piercing glare he returns her doesn't hurt that much.

"Miss Berry, you and I both know that I have all means to remove you from the show."

If the air wasn't that serious she would be laughing at his words. "And you and I both know that you've been meaning to since the day you found out I was the lead." She turns to face him, and all she could see is a person who looked a lot like Finn Hudson, nothing more. "Honestly, Finn, what's your angle here?"

"Miss Berry, we don't have to be so unprofe-"

"Just cut the professionalism crap and tell me!" she screams, "This is about us, isn't it? About what happened to us; why I left you without a word?"

Rachel notices his jaw tighten, and she knows too well that she's pushing her luck on him. "I..loved you."

He sarcastically retorts, "Yeah, so I've heard."

"I loved you, Finn!" she cried, "To be honest, I still do. I've never stopped loving you."

His voice starts to break, "Then why did you leave me?" The sight of Finn's crumbling facade was making Rachel feel so small, so cruel — as if she hadn't been that person since the day she walked out of his life.

"Because that time, I can almost see what was bound to happen," she admits to him. "You had your dreams and I had mine. I thought that us having the same major would bring us closer together, then Cassie became a part the picture and-"

"You thought I would leave you for your teacher?" he sneers.

"She made everything better for you." Rachel mutters. "Let's face it, Finn. I am nothing." He looks at her in disbelief, like she is saying something completely nonsense. "Look at you," she gestures at him, "Two years and look at where you are. You've already made a name for yourself and now..you're directing your ex-girlfriend to her very first show!" she mockingly laughs, averting his eyes that are now boring through her.

"You know, between the both of us, I never thought you were the stupid one." Finn halfheartedly kids while he minimizes the distance between them. His hands immediately feel the wetness in her cheeks as soon as he holds her. "I thought that if I pretended to forget you, our past, I would avoid this situation. Because honestly, seeing you this way still breaks me. Far worse compared to what I felt when you left." His quivering lips are clear sign that he's doing his best to keep his emotions at bay, but every second that passes it proves to be harder. "But Rachel, do you even realize that this.. all of that I've become, is because of you?"

His chocolate orbs soften a little more when she finally meets his gaze. "I wouldn't deny that what you did hurt me. Hell, I couldn't even get out of bed for several weeks back then. I was miserable, Rachel. But after all of that I realized that maybe..maybe you left because I wasn't the man I promised you I would be in your life. So I told myself that I would work hard— hard enough so that one day, when we finally meet again, I could once again make that promise and by that time, I swear.." he pauses only to let some of his tears fall, "I swear, I'm never letting you go."

She starts breaking down again, the onslaught of emotions becoming to much for her to bear. Her brain still couldn't grasp what he's telling her. She expects him to be mad! To continue being so cold towards her, so heartless; because it's the only way for her to stop hoping; to stop falling apart.

The only thing keeping her from that — like always — is Finn, whose arms are currently wrapped around her wracking body, trying his best to calm her down.

"Please Rach, baby..don't make this harder than it already is for the both of us." he pleads, kissing her crown as he holds her tighter.

"You weren't supposed to forgive me," Rachel muffles in his chest.

He pulls slightly away only to cup her face in his hands once more. "I'll forgive the woman I love anything." He doesn't waste any more time as he finally closes the distance between them.

It's inexplicable how their lips move perfectly against each other so easily, as if the past two years never happened. Rachel finds herself melting more and more in Finn's arms while his mouth sucks all the air out of her lungs, making her crave for more.

It appears Finn has been thinking the same as he starts coaxing her tongue, their kisses growing rougher and more passionate.

She starts moaning his name when his mouth begins to travel down her neck, sucking hard on her collarbone before soothing it lovingly with his tongue. Both of their hands are preoccupied with removing one another's clothes. She feels him smirk against her chest after his fingers gently glided over from her curves down to the inside of her thighs, causing her to whimper.

"Finn," she breathlessly calls for him, bringing his face up to hers. Her hands snake around his neck while she stares into his eyes saying, "Make love to me."

Finn responds by kissing Rachel hard. He knows he could never get enough of her. He never will.

He removes the last of his clothing and kicks it over to the pile of clothes next to them. Rachel licks her lips wet as she watches him stroke himself. He doesn't know what turns him on more, the fact that she looks so beautiful in just her skin and she's all his to own; or that she's touching herself while he does the same.

He thinks it's both when he hovers above her, Rachel keeping her gaze fixated at him as the tip of his length touches her entrance. Finn starts by moving slowly and gently in and out, her slick, wet heat instantly engulfing him, making each thrust smoother as he picks up the pace.

It doesn't take too long before they have found their rhythm. Finn continues his assault on every inch of skin on Rachel's body while she keeps moaning his name in pure bliss. She urges him to go deeper by pulling his body flush against hers, her nails digging on his back; to which Finn gladly obliged.

He feels her walls clench as he rubs her bundle of nerves. "Let go, baby," he breathed into her ear. With one last flick of her clit Rachel begins to writhe underneath him while he reaches his own climax not long after, both screaming each other's names. He slows down his pace as they both ride out their orgasm. As Finn gently pulls himself out, he peppers her skin with soft, open-mouthed kisses, the thin layer of sweat on her provides a perfect blend of sweet and salty and cinnamon and apples that sensitizes his taste buds. Rachel, meanwhile, traces slow, lazy circles on his back, kissing every part of his skin she could reach.

"I love you," she utters as she lays her head on the left side of his chest.

"I know," Finn replies with certainty. "But that's not what I want to hear from you."

She lifts her head up and faces him, confusion drawn all over her eyes, "What is it then?"

"Remember what I keep telling you so you can perfect your dance?"

She ponders for a moment, recalling every single thing he has called out on her. Her lips curve up as the answer hit her.

Rachel nods at him, grinning as she says, "I trust you."

"Good." Finn rewards her with a soft peck and two. "Now say it again."

She giggles but happily obliges. "I trust you." Rachel coyly frowns when he shook his head.

"No, not that. The other one."

She scoots up and closer to him before giving him an eskimo kiss. "I love you."

"Again," he breathes, their upper lips ghosting against each other.

"I love you."

"And I love you forever, Miss Berry." Finn playfully addresses her in a formal tone, flipping her over afterwards for round two.

* * *

**A/N: This is actually the first fic I've uploaded here after such a long time. I normally post my drabbles in tumblr nowadays so..**

**As always, thanks for reading! Reviews are love and candy, whether good or bad. ~.^**


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